Deduction and Seduction
by jowx97
Summary: Padma Patil hears a very odd rumour about herself and a member of the Weasley family - clearly Parvati's the twin with the secret boyfriend, but who is he, and how will this affect Padma's own romantic endeavours? Random fluff, set in OotP, probably AU


**A/N: Slightly AU in that I think the Headless Hats were actually invented/introduced before Dumbledore left, but for the purposes of the story I hope you don't mind too much... And also AU in the sense that probably none of this happened, but hey - we can speculate, can't we?**

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Lisa Turpin scooted along the bench so that she was sat opposite Padma Patil at the breakfast table, and she wore a weary but amused expression.

"You could have told me, you know", she said.

Padma, for her part, was bewildered, and queried slowly after swallowing her mouthful of toast, "Told you what?"

Rolling her eyes, Lisa continued as though she had not been interrupted, "I mean, I get why you wouldn't have wanted Anthony to know about it, especially after the whole Yule Ball-Weasley fiasco but…"

"What do you mean -?"

"I just..." Lisa said slowly, "I don't see why you had to lie about having strict parents who wouldn't be happy with you having relationships like that – you can't tell Anthony one thing and do another. You _know_ how much he likes you. And I thought you liked him?"

"But I-"

"And the poor thing walked past a classroom and saw the pair of you snogging like your lives depended on it! But you could have let me in on the secret; I'm _supposed_ to be one of your best friends."

"Lisa!" Padma hissed, because the girl's words were attracting unnecessary interest from various other Ravenclaws, "I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about."

"Of course you do", Lisa insisted, "You know; _last night_?"

Padma frowned, "I had prefect duty last night so-"

"Yeah", Lisa said, "I mean, Anthony wasn't exactly pleased to see you slacking from your duties as it was; I think the _way_ you were slacking was all a bit much for him…"

"Lisa, it wasn't me!"

"Right, if you say so", she said in a way that clearly implied she didn't believe her, "Only, I would have thought you could tell me", and with that the girl pursed her lips and walked away leaving Padma alone and upset.

After a further moment's confusion it suddenly hit her that it must be _Parvati_ who had a secret boyfriend – her first ever boyfriend, unless Padma was mistaken. And to think, she was already off snogging him in empty classrooms, not to mention getting mistaken for Padma!

She felt shocked for a minute but eventually decided that it wasn't really _that_ big of a deal, especially considering what some girls their age were up to. No, it was fine as long as whoever it was treated Parvati well.

However, she definitely wanted to work out who it was, not only out of natural curiosity, but because once she had discovered the truth Padma could explain to her friends, and then perhaps Anthony would speak to her – he had stalked off the table as soon as she had sat down that morning.

Indeed, maybe after speaking with Parvati, Padma too would garner the courage to embark on a clandestine affair and she could finally go out with Anthony.

She glanced over at the Gryffindor table, but it was hardly a surprise that her sister wasn't there – Parvati was not a morning person, and would most likely still be asleep.

Ron Weasley, however, _was_ at the table – what was it they'd been saying?

She'd barely been listening to the whispering Ravenclaw rumour mill when she'd sat down as she much preferred Parvati as a source of Hogwarts gossip, but she was sure she'd heard something about "Weasley again" – that was clearly a reference to her declining Anthony in favour of Ron for the Yule Ball last year. So did that mean what she thought it did?

She studied Ron carefully, and considered whether or not Parvati would be having a secret fling with him. He was tall, funny – she supposed - and not altogether unattractive; plus she was fairly certain that Parvati would end up with a brave Gryffindor.

Then again, hadn't Parvati described Ron in a most unflattering way after the disastrous Ball last year? Or perhaps it had all been an act for Padma's benefit?

But looking over at Ron now, he was arguing with Hermione Granger, and there was something about the way they were always fighting, and the way he had been so angry with her and Viktor Krum that made Padma suspect that there was something more there.

She knew that if she had picked up on this that Parvati definitely had, and Parvati was far too great a believer in true love to get in the way of something like that.

Not Ron then… But they had definitely said "Weasley again".

That must mean that the mention was because it had been a different Weasley – but a Weasley nonetheless - who had once again thwarted Anthony, and so it was a "Weasley again".

Her brain was whirring trying to remember who the other Weasleys were as she spotted Ginny shuffling across the hall looking tired and whimsical – clearly she wasn't a morning person either.

But hang on – Ginny Weasley? And she looked half-asleep and dreamy, after a night in which Parvati had been _seen_ having a secret rendezvous with a Weasley?

No one had specified whether it was a male or female Weasley, and it would make even more sense for Parvati to want to keep it a secret as Padma couldn't imagine that their family would approve.

But still, how exciting! Parvati was braving the anger of their parents in order to be with the girl she loved, defying the restrictive bonds of their culture. She had always known that Parvati was a Gryffindor for a reason, even if she had never mentioned being interested in girls before.

Ginny was walking over to the Ravenclaw table, which was a bit odd, but perhaps she'd come to confront Padma about it all; to apologise about the whole misunderstanding of people confusing the Patil twins.

Except Ginny was wandering over to Michael Corner with that dreamlike smile, and from her peripheral vision alone Padma judged by the display of affection that perhaps Ginny was _not_ with Parvati after all, and also that Sally-Anne Perks probably ought to move on from her long-term crush on Michael.

And this all meant that there were only two potential Weasleys left: Fred or George, the trouble-making twins. Padma could see that they were attractive boys, but really – all those jokes and tricks seemed a bit childish, and to be going out with a boy two years older could surely only spell trouble. What was more; she'd heard that they hadn't gotten very many OWLs, which in her books was never a good sign.

But then, she supposed that Parvati never did care about stuff like grades – she liked kind, confident and flirtatious guys and she certainly loved to laugh. So the only question that remained was: which Weasley twin?

She spotted them easily enough – there was laughter coming from one end of the Gryffindor table, and the twins were of course at the centre of it all. Padma could just about tell them apart, probably because as a twin herself she was fairly observant when it came to little details about people. Fred was leaning in slightly more than George, and speaking louder, but aside from that they could very easily have passed for one another even in her eyes.

They appeared to be cracking jokes for the benefit of several girls in their year whilst shovelling down their porridge; yes, they certainly had the 'flirtatious' bit down.

One of the girls in question – Angelina, was it? – was laughing especially hard at something that Fred had just said, and Padma was instantly reminded of her exuberant dancing with Fred at the Yule Ball. Judging by her laughter now, Padma concluded that the pair were still together, and that meant that Parvati was secretly snogging George Weasley!

Padma found she was relieved – if she'd had to pick a twin herself, George did seem a little bit more sensible, and so she approved of Parvati's choice. They'd probably been getting close during the past few months of D.A. meetings; if memory served her correctly, the Weasley twins had certainly been very impressed by Parvati's reductor curse.

Now all that was left was the confrontation, and since Parvati clearly had no intention of getting breakfast that morning Padma decided that it would be best to go to George.

Seeing that the twins were getting up, both grinning as Fred appeared to be murmuring some tantalising tale to his brother, Padma gulped down the last of her tea and walked over to them as they approached the door.

"George?"

They immediately stopped talking and their eyes widened upon seeing her - whatever it was that Fred had been telling George, they clearly didn't want Padma eavesdropping.

"Morning, Padma", they both said smoothly, and for some reason she was sure Fred's lips twitched momentarily into a smile.

"D'you mind if I have a word?"

"Erm", George glanced over at Fred who nodded almost imperceptibly, "Of course", he said with a warm smile.

"In private", she said, giving Fred a stern look.

The pair seemed to be close to laughter for some reason.

Fred grinned, "Ah don't mind me, I'm off anyway. Got some, er, work to do before my lessons start."

Padma frowned slightly, and looked up at George as his twin strolled away. She led him to a small, empty room and prayed to the heavens that Anthony wouldn't walk in before asking, "Are you both planning some sort of prank? Because I have to remind you that I'm a prefect, and just because we're both on the D.A. and I'm not a part of the Inquisitorial Squad doesn't mean I can just toler-"

"Wow", George interrupted, "You're nothing like your sister, are you?"

"Yes, well", Padma sniffed, "My sister is exactly who I wanted to speak to you about."

George frowned slightly as his blue eyes twinkled and he said, "Yeah, I thought it must be something like that – although I'm not _entirely_ sure why you wanted to talk to me about it?"

Padma sighed, "Well, obviously it would have been more ideal to ask Parvati, but seeing as she's probably still in bed-". Padma decided to ignore the smirk that had appeared on his face at the mention of Parvati in bed, because she really didn't want to know _those_ sort of details about their relationship.

"Yeah, fair enough that you can't speak to her right now", George conceded, "Plus she wants to keep it all a secret what with your parents and everything. But I still don't see why you're asking _me_ about it."

Padma had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes; were boys really this unwilling to accept any form of responsibility in a relationship?

"Look; I just wanted to say that I know about this relationship, or fling, or whatever it is. So, look after her? And in the future when she's snogging or doing Merlin knows what else with you in public, if she could make it quite clear to any onlookers that it's _her_ and not me, I'd be very grateful."

George raised an eyebrow, "Well, I reckon these onlookers of yours need to get their facts straight on telling twins apart."

"Yes; that's exactly what I'm saying!" Honestly, didn't these Gryffindors pay attention? But then his words hit her afresh, "Wait, hang on – you mean-?"

George nodded slowly, smiling patronisingly.

Oh. "Oh", she said, unable to articulate anything particularly clever-sounding in light of this revelation.

Her thoughts were quickly back in order, however, as she remembered her previous deductions, "But he's going out with Angelina!"

It didn't matter how much Parvati fancied someone – Padma knew that her sister would never allow a boy to cheat on his girlfriend for her.

George looked amused, "Now where did you get that idea from?"

There was something very irritating about his little smile, and Padma was once again grateful that she didn't have to endure these sorts of boys in Ravenclaw where everyone was helpful and straightforward.

"Well they went to the Yule Ball together, didn't they?"

George's smirk remained, "And as I recall you went to the Yule Ball with my little brother."

Padma bit her lip. "Yes, I quite see your point, but I've seen them together loads, and- and this morning at breakfast she was laughing loudly at his jokes!"

Having said it out loud, it seemed far less of a valid point.

The red-haired boy's eyebrows furrowed slightly, although a smile still played around his lips, "You know, I think this whole notion that Ravenclaws are smart might have to be reconsidered. Fred and Ange are _friends_. Good friends, yeah, but they're not going out."

"Oh", she said again, dumbly.

"Anyway, between you and me, _I'm_ the twin who fancies Ange", he said casually, "Fred's always flirting with her to try and get me jealous enough to make my move. But, well…" he shrugged.

Padma was not used to people she barely knew being this open with her, and felt quite flattered although somewhat at a loss for words.

"Maybe one day though", he said, almost to himself, "We're a bit busy at the moment."

"Yes, I've heard", Padma scowled, "And amusing as these 'Slacker Snackboxes' are-"

"_Skiving_ Snackboxes", he corrected, patiently.

"Yes; them. While it's all very funny having people leave Umbridge's classes with nosebleeds and what not, are you sure it's safe? I mean, really, it's very irrespons-"

"Padma", he interrupted with that irritating little smile, "You don't have free periods yet do you?"

She frowned, "No; that's next year. Why do you ask?"

"Well", he remarked, as though it was a matter of little importance, "In that case, you're about ten minutes late for your first lesson."

Padma looked down at her watch. "Bugger!" she muttered before turning and speeding off for History of Magic with a quick walk – running in the halls was, of course, against the rules.

"Prefects swearing", his jovial voice carried before she'd left the room, and she could actually _hear _that annoying smirk in his tone, "What _is_ the world coming to?"

Git. And seeing as how George had always seemed the more outspoken one of the twins, she could only imagine with sympathy what Parvati must be going through with Fred.

On her speedy way to History of Magic she bumped into Anthony who resolutely refused to meet her gaze.

She decided in that moment it was time to take a leaf out of her sister's book – if they ever did find out, she reasoned that her parents would be far more distrusting of an older boy who wanted to make a living out of a joke-shop than a fellow prefect with intentions of working for the Ministry. And besides, she'd long ago read up on the current topic they were studying in History of Magic, so there was no danger of being left behind.

And just when she felt apprehensive, the fear that Parvati might go all Yule Ball on her and try to set her up with George Weasley was incentive enough to make her dive-in.

"Anthony", she said, tilting her head towards an empty classroom with a most uncharacteristic flutter of her eyelashes that caused the boy's eyes to widen, "Could I have a word?"

* * *

"Morning!" said Fred with a beaming smile as he entered his dormitory, "Fancy seeing you here."

A beautiful girl glowing with sparkling golden jewellery (which was most certainly not a part of the school uniform) had just appeared on his bed, seemingly from nowhere.

"Yes, quite the shocker considering you told me to come up here and put on that hat", said Parvati Patil, sitting on his bed with her legs curled up beneath her as she plaited her river of black hair.

Fred grinned as he walked towards her, but instead of paying her any attention he picked up the flamboyant pink hat that was sat on the bed beside her.

"So it works then?" He asked, examining it with a happy wonderment.

"Yep", she said, smiling up at him, "Lee Jordan walked in earlier to pick up some books, and he didn't so much as glance at me, so I was indeed invisible."

"Excellent", he said, still engrossed in turning the hat in his hands and looking at it from all angles.

"And then one of the other boys in your year – a blonde guy – came in and was having a good dance around the room until I did my Bloody Baron impression and told him to get out. So I can only assume that he didn't see me either."

Fred snorted, "Yeah, we don't speak that much to Rob – he never really forgave us for that time we slipped wartcap powder into his boxers."

Parvati raised an eyebrow.

"Well", Fred confessed, still grinning easily, "For the _several_ times that we slipped wartcap powder into his boxers – but who's counting? Besides, it's the git's own fault if he's going to be so trusting."

Parvati laughed, shaking her head in disbelief and Fred caught her lips in an enthusiastic kiss – he loved making her laugh, and he was very pleased to hear that the hats worked on someone other than himself and George.

"So there were no side effects?" He mumbled clumsily against her mouth, tossing the hat aside.

"No", she gasped, "I'm pretty sure I'm fine – and clearly I'm not invisible anymore."

"Still", he whispered in her ear before biting down gently on her earlobe, "It doesn't do to be complacent about these things-", he grinned as he kissed her mouth again, "Probably ought to give you a quick once-over. Just in case."

"All in the name of health and safety of course?" She said with laughter dancing in her eyes, as she pulled Fred down onto the bed.

"Of course", he murmured, pulling her down on top of him, and she heard the door lock in what was one incredibly sexy use of wandless magic.

It was from this angle, however, that she glimpsed her watch amongst her clinking bangles. "Look at the time!" she shrieked, straightening up at once, "I'm already five minutes late for Divination. What took you so long?"

"Well", he mused, slowly, sitting up, "I was having a nice chat with the girls-"

Parvati rolled her eyes.

"And er", he added hastily, "Then I was filling in my dearest twin about the more sordid details of last night."

"And if anyone overheard you, I can assure you that there won't _be_ anymore sordid details, as you so nicely put it", she said, crossing her arms with a glare.

He shrugged with that devil-may-care smile, as he replied, "I didn't really get that far in the story – I was interrupted by your sister, actually."

"Oh?" Said Parvati, frowning before her eyes widened in realisation, "So – she knows, then?"

"Dunno", he said, catching her off-guard as he planted a kiss on her soft throat, "I reckon so though."

"I _knew_ someone saw us last night", she moaned, "What did she say?"

"Not all that much to me", he said, thoughtfully, "In fact, I reckon she thought that you were secretly going out with George."

"Hang on – you're not George?" She asked, pretending to recoil.

"Very funny", he said, as his hand grazed lazily down her arm.

"I thought so", she said smirking, "Anyway, I've got to get to Divination, and then figure out what on earth I'm going to tell Padma!"

"You don't have to go", he said, looking her straight in the eyes and playing a game of noughts and crosses with his fingers on the small of her back, making her feel slightly giddy, "You're like the best in your year at Divination, aren't you? Can't you just tell Trelawney you were having an epiphany or something, and you thought it best not to disturb your inner-eye by attending the lesson?"

"That's not funny, Fred – and besides, it's Firenze now, and I've got no idea how he'll react". She paused, and then a small smile lit her face, "Although I wouldn't mind having to go to see him after class to apologise."

"Joke all you like, Patil - I think we both know that centaur's got nothing on me". As if to prove his point, he met her lips in a fierce kiss.

Parvati eventually pulled away, breathless, and half-amused half-annoyed to see Fred's smug expression. "Who said I was joking, Weasley? Anyway, I can't just skive off lessons whenever I feel like it."

"But you do _feel_ like skiving off?" He whispered wickedly in her ear, his hand now trailing the outer-edge of her thigh.

"Fred!" She groaned although her resolve was fading.

"Padma!" He moaned in a very suggestive way with a waggle of his eyebrows.

She laughed incredulously before pushing him forcefully back onto the bed.

"Fred Weasley, it's people overhearing jokes like that out-of-context which gets us into trouble", she said, sitting over him with hands on her hips as he looked up at her with wide blue eyes.

"Are you going to teach me a lesson then, Ms. Patil?" He asked, with a trace of hopefulness in his voice.

"Well, the message's got to sink in somehow now, hasn't it?"

She had his wrists pinned down as she leaned in and kissed him, before biting gently on his bottom lip.

"Punish me", he growled, making her giggle.

"Merlin, what am I going to tell Padma? She'll be appalled that I'm skiving lessons to do things with boys…"

He raised an eyebrow, "Boys, in the plural?"

"Oh yeah, didn't I tell you?" She asked casually with a mischievous grin after placing a kiss on his throat, "I had a cheeky snog with that Rob guy before you got here."

"You know what, Parvati – I think I'm corrupting your sense of humour", he announced almost proudly, before breaking his wrists from her hold and pulling her roughly down against him with a musical clinking of her bangles. "Looks like I'm not the only one who's going to need punishing."

He flipped them over so that he was above her, taking in with reverence the stunned expression on those wonderful features and slight smile on her parted mouth after she'd taken a sharp breath. And just when Fred thought they were finally going to get down to some serious snogging, Parvati spoke again.

"What's Umbridge going to say if she finds out I've been skiving lessons to do this sort of thing? Merlin knows what she'll be allowed to do, especially now Dumbledore's gone."

Fred was silent for a moment, looking at the genuine worry in her chocolate eyes, and uncertain as to how much he ought to tell her. He didn't want to get her upset or angry, but the truth was that he and George had found a place on Diagon Alley for the shop – if some of the jokes they had lined-up for the coming weeks went too far then they had a place to go, and would happily leave the school.

But somehow he didn't think Parvati would be too pleased to hear any of that, and so he just said, "I wouldn't worry about Umbridge – I reckon she'll be too busy with, er, other distractions to notice you missing a lesson or two."

"More of those pretty fireworks?" She asked as she pulled him down towards her so he could feel her warm breath tickling his lips and sink into her addictively spicy Jasmine scent.

"Something like that", Fred agreed, before kissing her voraciously – if he was leaving Hogwarts sometime soon, he was bloody well going to make the most out of being there while he could; while he most certainly wouldn't miss Umbridge when they left, he had a feeling he'd be craving the surprisingly wicked affections of the powerful Parvati Patil.

There were not, after all, very many beautiful girls who were strong enough to destroy tables with a casual flick of their wand; less still with a very good sense of humour indeed.


End file.
